Don't exactly know how to...

start this month's post...

I was seven years old when the world lost another huge musical icon as big as Michael Jackson (Elvis Presley) and I was too young to really remember and understand the impact of what his death had. I was 11 when "we" lost John Lennon. I kind of remember the impact of his unexpected death.

When we lost Michael Jackson a couple of weeks ago ... I don't know ... I'm numb. I think I'm affected by his death so much because it was completely unexpected, like my mom's was, so I have complete empathy for his children and siblings. I think also because I grew up with his music and "saw" him grow into such a HUGE musical icon and worldly influence. Like I've heard people say on the news and other media outlets, Michael was our generations' Elvis. I just pray that we can all carry Michael's message of good will and peace to the world and "make that change" (from his song, "Man In The Mirror")

The last couple of months were ok for the family. Mother's Day was hard, but we got through it. We went up to OC to bruch at a very nice restaurant. Dad came up with us; he was very happy to see everyone, and especially his grandchildren. We brought Dad up to OC again for Father's Day, which was at my brother's place. We have Mom's birthday coming up this Sunday; there's a Mass being said for her and I think we're all (the four of us) going. Three days after Mom's birthday is my aunt (her sister, the one that died two weeks after she did)'s. So, it's not exactly an easy month. The 25th, some of us are going up to a family picnic/reunion. This family is on my dad's side (my grandmother's nieces, nephews and their families).

Everything else is going ok.

Ok, so today I made...

my first big purchase since buying a car six years ago ..... I bought me a computer (with the help of my brother). ANYTHING would be nicer than the one I've got, but this really is a nice one. Got it off of Ebay for $460. Has everything you could ever want on it. I CANNOT wait to get it, as I'm just about ready to blow this one up.

Special shout out for my niece, who turned 13 today. My cousin's son also turned 13, on Friday, which was my sil's birthday (she'd kill me if I said how old she is...lol)

Not too much going...

on. My nephew's being "promoted" to the sixth grade next week. Can't believe he's that old already. Two weeks from tomorrow, I'm going up to Tehachapi for my cousin's daughter's wedding; gonna be gone that whole weekend and I'm staying in a hotel this time, instead of staying with my cousin, so it'll really feel like I'm on a mini-vacation. It turns out that we won't be able to go to Chicago this summer, like I had hoped. No one can afford it; I'm bummed, but some of the family is on Facebook, so I'm staying in contact through that (and email, of course).

Having id theft issues again, but they're nothing but scare tactics, so not really worried about it anymore.

My nieces dance recital (Maddie) and First Communion (Haley) were great. My brother, who was in the one of the dances with Mad, did pretty well. My sister and I absolutely loved it - laughing the whole time, of course, just because we're his sisters. Haley was beautiful for her special day. After church, we went back to the house, took pictures, ate, etc.

Despite it being...

a very emotional day for me, I got through Mother's Day ok. My three siblings and I all got together the night before at the cemetery, at sunset with "beach chairs" and just talked about memories of Mom. Then on Sunday, the 12 of us, plus one sil's dad, all went out to brunch in OC. It turned out to be a great weekend.

Tomorrow, we're all going up to one of my niece's First Communion, and then next Sunday, my sister and I are going to another niece's dance recital; it's a father/daughter dance thing....OH, HOW I WISH WE COULD BRING CAMERAS IN, for none of us have ever seen our brother dance (I'm very curious as to what he has to wear).

I'm very excited to...

report that the family blog that my cousin and I had been working on, is REALLY taking off. We have a total of eight people (including me) who have joined..and it's only been three days since launching it. We have a lot more to go, but it's a great start.

Ok; got through Easter....

fine. I did cry on the way up there, but got to talk to a cousin in Chicago and I was feeling pretty good after that. The next round of "firsts" will be a little more difficult to handle; i.e., Mother's Day (especically that), birthdays (both parents have July days), anniversary and then the anniversary of Mom's passing.

I'm really hoping I can go to Chicago with my siblings. I miss my aunt, uncles and cousins so very much. It's really hard being this far away from them, especially since we've had such a difficult time of late.

Everything else is going ok, I guess.

Well, today is the...

six month mark since Mom passed; I can't believe it's been that long already, but more than that, I can't believe how fast it's gone by. I guess time really does fly when you're so busy...

Three weeks ago tomorrow, we moved our dad into an assisted living facility, which is right across the freeway from my sister (which is good, since she's his medical POA - Power of Attorney, so she can be there in a heartbeat, if needed). We've pretty much stuck to the same schedule as when he was at his house, as far as visiting and stuff. The only thing we don't do, of course, is stay the night like we used to.

About a month ago, I started on some medication to help with my depression and anxiety over all the deaths we've experienced; and just two days ago, I started seeing a professional about it. Both of these decisions were mine; no one had to convince me to do either of these. It's gonna feel so good to finally talk to someone about everything.

Other than that, I'm hangin in there as best as I can...